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Blame it all on bat poop
Now there's nothin' to do
But day drink until it all ends

My crew can't come near
I'm social distancein' here
Am I loosing my mind?
Well, that depends...

Made new friends with my broom
And my Dayson vac too
Turns out Swiffer can pour a mean drink

Ms. Shovel ain't bad but hogs the cover in bad
I love 'em but, man, it's a shame

Cause I had real friends before Covid

Didn't have to pretend
That this ball I'm holdin's real name is Shane
"What's up, Shane?"
It's just ain't the same

Yeah, I remember we could be together
We could high five hands withoutPurell lather
Oh, I had real friends before Covid

Well, I had my first date
And Alexa was great!
In the end she said it wouldn't last
Then I started to wink
At my Peloton screen
But she kept ridin' on my A-a-a-a-a-a-a

Tried to hang out with shoe
But he was kind of a douche
And lamp was always on the phone

My old Crossfit shirt was a good listener, for sure
But I'm sick of being alone!
Cause I had real friends before Covid
Didn't have to pretend that this plant I'm growin'
Can play charades
He sucks every game

Yeah, I remember when we could be together
We could high five hands withoutPurell lather
Oh, I had real friends before Covid

Oh, I had real friends before Covid
I could hang out with them out in the open, it'll be okay
And I'll be your friend

I'm missin' them while I stay at home
And I'm so sick of plannin' out my Zoom callin'
Oh, I had real friends before Covid
I had real friends before Covid
God!

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